Great News: The Russians Don't Know How To Build Robots

We can all breathe a sigh of relief. The Russians, Earth's resident super-villains, can't build robots.

Russia's state television tried to show off a new "hi-tech robot" that ultimately turned out to be nothing more than a guy in a robot costume that you can actually purchase online.

If that sounds ridiculous enough to be the plot of a an episode of The Simpsons,  that's because it was (a great episode by the way).

If there's one way that humans as a species is going to meet their demise, it's a robot uprising. The whole thing would just be poetic, we developed the very thing that would someday destroy us. Fortunately the leaders in international robottery (I just made that word up, please credit me after all further uses) are the Japanese and Americans.  These folks aren't doing anything too crazy with robots. We Americans build robots that vacuum the floor so that our lazy asses don't have to and the Japanese are all about building robots that either play soccer or are made for you to have sex with. Really nothing too concerning.

You know who I don't want to have robot building capabilities? The people who taught bears how to unicycle: The Russians.



Sure they can hack/influence an election, but most of us could probably do that given the time and resources. We can all rest easy knowing that Vladimir Putin and friends would be completely perplexed by a Roomba.